I’m not a born early bird.
Less when on holidays.
Because the only thing I like to do far away from home is just relax. That’s why I’m far away from home.
And the relax part starts in the morning, waking up without the damn buzzer, sleeping until the back starts hurting.
And most important: being one of the last people at the hotel’s breakfast lounge. Because as a part-time misanthrope, crowds of people hurrying around the breakfast buffet in the morning drives me nuts, not to mention all the blabber and noise around.
My easy solution is going down to the buffet around 15 minutes before it closes. At that time, I have (almost) everything for myself, and the only folks left are like-minded people who simply shut up their mouth and enjoy their breakfast in tranquility.
When you make plans during your holidays
When I entered the breakfast lounge, I suddenly regretted having booked a day bus tour to see the inner world of Gran Canaria.
I had to come down an hour earlier, and then found myself in the middle of the hordes of orks fighting for bread and coffee.
As the bus tour started at 9 am, I had no other option.
I tried to enjoy my yummy breakfast while listening to music through my in-ear headphones (those with noise-cancelling), and looked forward to the day bus tour over Gran Canaria, starting in around one hour.
When I arrived at the hotel’s square to wait for the bus, the early birds were already there. Around 30 people waited to enter the bus to catch the best seats. (You know that’s stupid because tour busses have huge windows all around, right?)
Anyway, I tried to keep my conscious state of Zen in a balanced level and somehow managed to get into my seat.
I meditate a lot, and I have my stress levels pretty much under control. But the noise inside the tour bus reminded me of the movie 300…
But the best part was that guy in front of me. The air conditioning blew all the smell from my fellow inmates from the front to the back of the bus. Poor me, the guy in front of me smelled like a wet cat (Ever smelled a wet cat? That’s similar to socks you wear for three weeks inside boots while wandering through the Sahara).
On the highway to hell
On the highway to hell
The drive itself was the highlight of the tour. I’m still sure the driver is a brother of Michael Schumacher. He took the roads and serpentines as if it was the Monaco Formula 1 Grand Prix.
He even seemed to be a bit sadistic, and smiled as if he enjoyed some of the screams heard every time the bus came close to the crash barrier. His diabolic face shined even brighter when there was nothing but 300 meters deep of nothing on our left side of the road
But we made a lot of stops to recover, at least for around 10 minutes each time. Probably because the driver knew it’d be him who had to clean the seats from the passengers’ vomit.
Ten minutes pause for jumping out, making some shots, and jumping into the bus again. Sometimes, we didn’t even have time to pee (The busses toilet didn’t work).
Are there only papas arrugadas in Gran Canaria?
Having that in mind, you can imagine that we all were pretty happy when we reached lunchtime — One hour of sitting around, eating, having a beer or two, in the middle of the wonderful scenery.
That’s what we hoped for. The reality, though, was far away from that.
Not only that, the tour guide told us we “have 30 minutes” of lunchtime. He also told us they organized a special plate for everyone.
Guess what…again, we got only papas arrugadas together with some other local starters, as if there’s nothing else to eat on the island.
Worse thing, I visualized a bug yummy pizza on my plate when the bus stopped. Since food was already included in the price and I forgot my wallet in the hotel, I had to take what was on the table.
At this point I time-travelled back to childhood. I remembered my mum’s words: “Eat what’s on the table. If you don’t want it, you stay hungry all day long because there’s no alternative.”
There’s nothing wrong with it, and I do the same with my kids. But when on holidays, I want to decide whatever I’d love to eat.
A lost day I could have spent much better
At late eve after sunset, we arrived at our hotel, totally exhausted and tired. Some of our fellow tour mates even had stomach troubles.
It was a stressful day, though we’ve seen a lot of the island, of course. Unfortunately, we didn’t have enough time to stroll around at the main hot spots to make some great photos.
So far that was my personal experience with guided bus tours in Gran Canaria, a fatal error that cured me from ever booking another tour again.
Is there any alternative?
Now, is there any other option if you don’t want to drive yourself but still want to see the island?
Lucky you, there is.
Lately, I booked another tour after finding a flyer somewhere in the resorts. A private tour to discover the island? Without any other folks? That sounded fantastic to me, and I gave it a try.
Here are some details that might interest you:
Discover Gran Canaria with your personal tour guide in a family-like atmosphere
Can you imagine having your own chauffeur who drives you around the island and also answers your questions personally?
- You can stop wherever and whenever you want.
- You can eat and drink what you like.
- You choose what to see and when you start and end the day.
Cool, isn’t it?
Personally, that’s the only way to discover the island without any pressure. And I wouldn’t recommend you do any thing other than booking your tour with the expert tour guides Laura and Vincenzo.
The Italian couple loves the island, and they love to transmit their passion to interested visitors.
Just in case: If you’re the “one-week-beach-toaster“, this isn’t for you.
But if you’d love to bring some remarkable experiences home, you have to book a tour with them.
Unique Cut&Paste Tours designed around your interests
Laura and Vincenzo offer some predesigned routes. But you have it all in your own hands. You have the possibility to change the route. You can choose where and when to stop. You can choose when, where, and what to eat.
They are like friends you visit on the island, friends who will show you the island from the locals’ perspective and will take care you have an extraordinary day.
No time stress, no hassle, no nothing. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
They pick you up at your hotel or holiday apartment when YOU want.
You know what’s the best? You have all the freedom to make any changes during the trip with Laura and Vincenzo.
So whatever you want to do or whatever you want to change, just say it and your personal tour guides will be happy to serve you.
Enjoy your personal tour in Gran Canaria
Send them a message below and start with a day trip. I have no doubt you will love it,
Laura and Vincenzo will answer your email within a few hours. Booking is fast and painless, and the only thing you have to do is to wait in front of your hotel the day you scheduled a tour with your personal tour guides.
Have fun and please come back here once you’ve done the tour and leave a review. Me and the audience here would like to hear from you!
Fill out the form below to get in touch with Laura and Vincenzo
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I’m sorry to announce that due to a serious desease, Vincenco is not able to drive car anymore. So unfortunately, they had to stop offering this great service.
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