How to piss off someone from Gran Canaria

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So, it’s your first holiday in Gran Canaria, right?

Naturally you’re excited about the beaches, the sights, the nightlife.

And maybe you’ve already heard about the legendary friendliness of the locals, and you’re looking forward to making some new friends. That shouldn’t be too hard because Canarios (the official name for the local citizens) are some of the most-welcoming people on the planet.

But if you hear, “Mira, mi niññño… ” (“Look, my boy”), it´s a warning sign that you´ve somehow managed to get yourself into deep trouble, and it´s time to sneak backward.

So the following are a few things guaranteed to piss off a Canario that you might want to avoid:

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Being the richest man in the cemetery

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Are you a mother or father?

I am. A very proud one. Like you and all other mothers or fathers out there.

And it always makes me teary-eyed, when I see this 20 month young little blonde boy getting excited about the smallest things he discovers.

Things, which we as adults don´t see anymore. Things that bore us.

Things we don´t take serious anymore because we are too concentrated in showing how nice our new car is, how big our house, how important our job position, how thick our bank account.

We are wasting our energy in showing the outer world, that we are “self made men”. By hoarding status symbols.

There is something even worse.

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How to buy a property in Gran Canaria

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Buying a property in Gran Canaria is much easier than you might think. Follow the steps below to make your purchase the perfect “Home Sweet Home”.

Obviously you know Gran Canaria already from your vacation and fell in love with this wonderful island like millions of others before.

And you´re dreaming about being an owner of a nice domicile in the world´s best climate to start your next (or even your first) adventure in life.

But while you have experience in buying a property in your home country, take into account that Spain is different.

No matter if you want to rent it out for investment or relocate yourself to Gran Canaria: There are some steps to do until you can open the door the first time with your own keys.

And there are things to be aware of. Be prepared.

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Learning Spanish in Gran Canaria for Introverts

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When you relocate to Gran Canaria, the most important thing to do is learn Spanish. Show respect and receive trust!

It all seemed so easy when you took your vacations here, right?

Waiters, receptionists and taxi drivers talked a bit in your own language.
No matter, if it´s English, German, French or whatever your native language is.

You didn´t have any problem to tell the service personal your wishes since they (mostly) speak English in the touristic zones.

They all understood where you want to go, what you want to drink before choosing a dinner plate and they even understood your complaints (let´s assume you had any).

You felt almost as you were still in your own country. Even the menu cards are provided in your language.

Only difference: You were surrounded by palm trees on a miniature continent somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, enjoying the world´s best climate.

Everything was so easy going.

That easy, that you thought you can just come over to Gran Canaria and live here without any difficulties. Without speaking the local language.

I made the same error.

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How to Enjoy Life with your Dog in Gran Canaria without Trouble

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Sharing your life with a dog in Gran Canaria is not that easy anymore. Find out, what to expect, how to react and how to hide…

In the picture above you see Gara, a Pastor Garafiano. She has been a part of my life in Gran Canaria since I rescued her almost eight years ago.

Her first six months of life weren´t that pretty. She lived with a Spanish family in the south. That does not have a bad meaning in general, but in this case, it was very bad.

Every day leashed on a 50cm line outside a bungalow´s terrace under the heat of Maspalomas.

Without any protection against the hot sun. Without being able to move.

That family bought Gara just to give their children a living toy. But they didn´t care that their kids did not treat Gara like a living being.

I don´t want to go into details here.

One day, two friends and I went to that bungalow in “Sonnenland” and forced the owners to hand over Gara and to give us all her official documents, such as the animal passport.

We took her directly to the veterinarian to check her health condition, to chip her, and to change the owner´s name and address in her passport.

Gara needed more or less 4 months until she wasn´t so afraid of humans.

From that time on, Gara has had an incredible great life. She´s visited all parts of Gran Canaria, from the beaches to the mountains and has seen more from Gran Canaria than most of the residents.

After eight years of life, she still enjoys her freedom, being part of the family, but owning a pet is not as easy as in previous years.

Let´s talk about some serious and important things about having a dog in Gran Canaria

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How to survive an appointment in local authority offices

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My home country, Germany, is the inventor of bureaucracy. Without any doubt.

I´m not proud of it, but I learned to live with it. We all have to.

If you think it can´t get even worse, then come to Spain. Spain optimized the German invention like there’s no tomorrow. It seems like being the world football champion is not enough.

They really love paperwork and they are addicted of getting multiple copies of all your papers. Two copies. Three copies. Plus the originals, of course. Always depends on the offices you must visit, when you relocate to Gran Canaria. You have to go to a few places, when want to be an official member of Gran Canaria´s community.

Getting registered won´t rob you much time, you might think.

But you didn´t expect “The Place That Sends You Mad”

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4 money saving tips for buying a used car in Gran Canaria

Buying Car in Gran Canaria

During my first years on this island I only had a motorbike.

Not a big one, not a little one. Just a very comfortable “Scooter” KYMCO Grand Dink 125 to realize trips on this island.

It was just like sitting on a cozy couch…discovering this miniature continent from Maspalomas to Mogan, up to Agaete, Las Palmas de Gran Canaria and following the east coast back to Maspalomas.

Anyway, I wanted a car to take my dog for walks in the mountains of Gran Canaria.

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